Military Oaths Of Enlistment

Oaths Of Enlistment
All persons, upon entering Military Service and upon reenlistment, are required to take the Oath of Enlistment. At one time, the Oath of Enlistment was the same for all services. Due to changes in both society and the differing Military Branches, the Oath has undergone marked change and has been specifically tailored to each branch of the Military and their specific function. Here are the latest versions of the Oath of Enlistment as recently released by the Joint Chiefs of Staff:

US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT

"I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES AIR FORCE because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army, because the Marines frighten me, and because I am afraid of water over waist-deep. I swear to sit behind a desk. I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our bike-riding test as a valid form of exercise. I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name because I find it amusing to annoy the other services.

I will have a better quality of life than those around me and will, at all times, be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of "Basic Training", I will be a lean, mean, donut-eating, Lazy-Boy sitting, civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, chair-borne Ranger. I will believe I am superior to all others and will make an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the back. I will annoy those around me, and will go home early every day. So Help Me God!"
____________________ Signature
____________________ Date

US ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, Rambo, swear to sign away 4 years of my mediocre life to the UNITED STATES ARMY because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force, I'm not tough enough for the Marines, and the Navy won't take me because I can't swim. I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my trousers into my boots because I can't figure out how to use blousing straps. I promise to wear my uniform 24 hours a day even when I have a date.

I will continue to tell myself that I am a fierce killing machine because my Drill Sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the only action I will see is a court-martial for sexual harassment. I acknowledge the fact that I will make E-8 in my first year of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on my PT test.

After completion of my Sexual.....er.....I mean "Basic Training," I will attend a different Army school every other month and return knowing less than I did when I left. On my first trip home after Boot Camp, I will walk around like I am cool and propose to my 9th grade sweetheart. I will make my wife stay home because if I let her out she might leave me for a better-looking Air Force guy. Should she leave me twelve times, I will continue to take her back. While at work I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely nothing accomplished. I will arrive to work every day at 1000 hrs because of morning PT and leave everyday at 1300 to report back to "COMPANY."

I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me get a job upon separation, and will end up working construction with my friends from high school. I will brag to everyone about the Army giving me $30,000 for college, but will be unable to use it because I can't pass a placement exam. So Help Me God!"
_____________________ Signature
_____________________ Date

US NAVY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES NAVY, because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too "corporate," because I didn't want to actually live in dirt like the Army, and because I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...why not?"

I promise to wear clothes that went out of style in 1976 and to have my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor Man during summer, and for Nazi Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English-speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, geedunk, scuttlebutt, scuttle and head," when I really mean "floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole in wall and toilet."

I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank, and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

I will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930. I vow to hone my coffee cup-handling skills to the point that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my newfound "colleagues." So Help Me Neptune!"
______________________ Signature
______________________ Date

US MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, (pick a name the police won't recognize), swear..uhhhh....high-and-tight.... grunt... cammies....kill....fix bayonets....charge....slash....dig....burn....blow up....ugh...Air Force women....beer.....sailors wives.....air strikes....yes SIR!....whiskey....liberty call....salute....Ooorah Gunny....grenades...women....OORAH! So Help Me Chesty PULLER!"
Thumb Print X____________________ XX __________________
Teeth Marks ____________
Date __________________

Jeni Ready to Pop!

Jeni is about ready to pop! She is in final stage of "re-nesting" and Christopher has dropped. She has started to experience some contractions, though she has only diliated to a one (1).

She has a Dr's appointment tomorrow and we will know a little more. We should all have a new baby by the end of the week!

(Picture taken this weekend: May 20, 2006)

My email is breaking up with me

Hi.

This is the qmail-send program at yahoo.com. I'm afraid I wasn't able to deliver your message to the following addresses.

This is a permanent error; I've given up.

Sorry it didn't work out.

Back In Town

Florida was awesome! 75-85, Sunny, Clear skys (with a little haze from the fires) and a slight breeze. I could not have ordered better weather. I have a few pictures on my myspace. Check them out.

The reunion was fun. I met classmates I didn't know, hung out and caught up with people I knew and loved. It was still clicky though. Made my rounds and said Hi to the "popular" people, and tried to have a good time.

My girlfriend Jennifer asked me to be her maid of honor in her wedding in October, so I will be heading back down sometime later this year. This time I am taking Scott and we are going to Disney. I didn't think I would miss him this last weekend, but by Saturday night I missed him terribly and wished I had drug him down with me.

So yesterday I spent the afternoon looking up prices for Disney. For the low price of $650 I can have a room at the French Quarter, airport transportation, park hopper passes for three days that never expire, and a few other cool things. Pricing does not include meals, entertainment, and drinks. Whew... better start saving my money / paying off credit cards.

Florida

I leave tomorrow at 6:20 am for a weekend in Florida. It is my HS 10 year reunion! I will post pictures when I return!

Sexual Dictionary

Shannon -- [adjective]: Fetish oriented 'How will you be defined in the sexual dictionary?' at QuizUniverse.com

Scott -- [noun]: A new position involving a machete 'How will you be defined in the sexual dictionary?' at QuizUniverse.com

Prayer for Lost Books

For him that steals, or borrows and returns not, a book from his owner, let it change into a serpent in his hand and rend him. Let him be struck with palsy, and all his members blasted. Let him languish in pain crying aloud for mercy, and let there be no surcease to his agony till he sing in dissolution. Let book worms gnaw at his entrails in token of the Worm that dieth not. And when at last he goes to his final punishment, let the flames of Hell consume him for ever.

- From the monastery library of San Pedro in Barcelona.

Summer Hours

Ahhhh.... I now have summer hours... I will be working 8-4:30 M-F.

Only get 30 min lunch though which will put a cramp on my walking. But if I actually bring my lunch and eat / snack in the morning, I will be able to walk at lunch.

My JC friends and I are doing a summer weight loss challenge, so hopefully I will loose 15-30 pounds by August 1! Well that is my goal!

My Celebrity Sisters

Your Celebrity Sisters Are Mary-Kate and Ashley

Funky, eccentric, and offbeat You're not a good girl or a bad girl, just a weird girl

Who Are Your Celebrity Sisters?

Summer, Summer, Summer time.....

I just sit back and unwind....

Ahhhh..... I have officially freed my toes!!! They are painted hot pink and are not giong back into a pair of closed toed shoes until October!

Answer:

Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
....................................................................
Republican's Answer:

BANG!
.....................................................................
Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....
(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?

Son: Can I shoot the next one!

Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, a terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises his God, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

Family Ties

My brother, his fiancee, and baby packed up and moved away this weekend.

They are heading west to Sequim / Port Angeles, Washington. Janessa's mother lives out there, which is why they moved. Jon made a promise early on in their relationship to move west after college so she can be close to her mother.

We are all very said, but know that we will visit often. Actually, I wouldn't mind moving to Washington myself. I know if one more of us goes that my parents and whom ever is left will follow. :o)

Dear Cats & Dogs:

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.

The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. Iam very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessaryto claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also,I have been using the bathroom for years .... canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's behind. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I haveposted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture (that's why they call it "fur"niture).
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people and sometimes even siblings when they tick me off the right way.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids becausethey:
1. Eat less.
2. Don't ask for money all the time.
3. Are easier to train.
4. Usually come when called.
5. Never drive your car.
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends.
7. Don't smoke or drink again...my dogs don't smoke but the drinking...well....
8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest
9. Don't wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college,
11. If they get pregnant you can sell their children!

04/05/06

I just wanted to point out that Wednesday was April 5, 2006 - or 04/05/06; I guess in military that is 05/04/06; but whatever.

My point being is I LOVE DATES LIKE THIS! Any date that falls in some sort of numeric order excites me. It only happens once in a lifetime!

Like 09/06/96, 01/01/01, 01/02/03, seriously, these things only happen once in a lifetime!

I hope you all paused to observe 04/05/06.

Next event: 06/06/06 (hehehe 666)

I was skinny and didn't know it!

I guess weighing 75 pounds more than you did 10 years ago really puts things in perspective. The thing is, I thought I was fat here! Always ofter the 20 pounds I wanted to loose. Now what I wouldnt give to be this "skinny" again. Well, hopefully I will be soon :o)

This is a picture at Walt Disney World's Grad Night. They intive graduating seniors from all over the US for a night out in the park. Cindy (standing) and Jeane were two of my very best friends in High School. Hopefully I will be able to see them in May.

Baby Christopher

Jeni just started her 3rd trimester! Christopher is becoming quite the acrobat!

We are having a baby shower for her on May 7th.

My cousin Desiree is expecting also. She is just a month or so behind Jeni! Very exciting because we all grew up together and now our kids will be the same ages also!

Going to Florida

I did it... I gave in and booked my fight, car, and bought my reunion ticket last night. Yes, my 10 year HS reunion is 45 days away. I wonder if I could loose a pound a day by then??? Maybe going to Florida to get some sunshine will cheer my ass up. I could use some!

Fred Phelps - Terriorist?

(I am pretty upset right now and really can't put how I feel right now into words.)

Fred Phelps, a Baptist minister in Topeka Kansas and is leading a campaign of people that protest at fallen soldiers funerals.

They say the soldiers are fighting for an army that represents a country that accepts homosexuality. (That would be us, the USA). Fred describes himself as an "old-time" gospel preacher who says, "You can't preach the Bible without preaching the hatred of God." (I am sorry... hatred of God? This guy isn't any better than a sucide bomber.)

He and his family have picketed and heckled military families at more than 100 funerals since June.

Fred's campaign has sparked another group to found. That's the birth of a group called the "Patriot Guard Riders." They're a volunteer group of motorcycleist that came together after hearing that so many military families were being blindsided by the protesters. They ride alongside the funeral procession protecting the family from any protesters. This last weekend, more than 400 motorcycles thundered in Dodge City to make sure Sgt. Jessie Davila's funeral was not overshadowed by the Phelps protest. (YEAH!!!!)

Since CNN started airing reports on these funeral confrontations a few weeks ago, the Patriot Guard Riders say its membership has almost tripled. More than a dozen states are now considering legislation that would restrict protesting at funerals. (YEAH!!!)

Brackets Suck!

Suck, Suck, Suck, Suck, Suck....
... at least 40% of the teams I have picked.

I am actually 2nd in my team, but most of the teams I have picked to go far are all ready out of the race. My bracket looks like a 7th grade English teacher got a hold of it with a red pen.

I will say one thing, I have a perfect Atlanta bracket - no one I have picked has lost (knock on wood). The rest already went to hell.

So I will continue to cross my fingers and hope that the rest of my teams can make it!

GO UCLA!

St. Patrick's Day

St. Patrick's Day is 2 days away!!!!

I have the day off of work.

Stout opens at 6:00 am.

I have shamrock on my nails and a new green sweater.

I CAN'T WAIT!

Leadership Challenge

My new, and last class, is Strategic Leadership; and I am LOVING IT!

We have two books required for the class; The Leadership Challenge and Leadership, Theory and Practice. Both are very good books and are highly recommended. I think my last two bosses have definitely read The Leadership Challenge; I am only to chapter 5 and can see that I have already lived & practiced this entire book.

Best Week Ever?

This week through next Thursday is U of M's gay awareness week. The next 7 days are filled with seminars, socials, and rallies all in awareness of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender issues. The office of LGBT Affairs and their students have set up several "serious" events as well as fun events like: "Queers at Play" and "Flames On Ice". If you are interested in attending the rally it is Monday, March 13 from 12-1 on the Diag. I am a strong supporter of LGBT issues and I think I will plan on attending a workshop today on creating a LGBT friendly workplace as well as the rally. Unfortunately, I will miss Flames on Ice next Thursday due to my new Western European swordfighting class.

For more information on U of M's office of LGBT issues: http://www.umich.edu/~lgbta

**Best Week Ever is not associated with VH1, MTV, or any other Viacom affiliates. **

Feel'n Great

I am happy to report that I have gotten over the workout hump and I am well on my way to loosing 92 pounds. U of M started this new "Active U" program. Since it has started I have been exercising 35-60 min a day and I finally FEEL GREAT!! My body actually WANTS to exercise! and I feel like a bum when I don't! So far I have lost about 5 lbs since it started about 3 weeks ago. WOO HOO. My goal will be 5-10 pounds a month with my final goal to be able to fit into my sister's wedding dress!

I also saw the $100,000 winner from Biggest Looser on Friday at a conference. He was very inspirational and motivating. I am determined this time around to make it work.

For those of you who don't know, I have been trying to loose weight since high school (some how it keeps finding me before I loose him). I even have a fat blog so I don't have to bug you here about my lifestyle and weight woes; but this milestone was significant enough for me to mention here.

Happy Bunny

My cousin Ben inspired me to be a happy bunny today.

Google Partners with National Archives

History deserves the best
2/24/2006 09:01:00 AM

Posted by Jon Steinback, Product Marketing Manager, Google Video

In junior high, I learned about most of history's greatest moments through the least engaging media possible: the yellowed pages of outdated textbooks or the unfocused projections of film strips on my classroom walls. For many momentous events, words and pictures don't transmit the full sense of what has transpired. To see for one's self, through video and audio, brings an event to life.

Over 70 years ago, the National Archives was founded with the express purpose of preserving these moments in their full glory, serving America by documenting our government and our nation. This includes truly momentous events like the moon landing, as well as rare historical footage like government documentaries from the 1930s and battlefield stories from World War II.

Today we're very pleased to tell you that we're helping the National Archives take one step closer to realizing its vision. Together, we're launching a pilot program to digitize their video content and offer it to everyone in the world for free. I think both students and teachers can agree that any of these would make for an exciting day in the classroom:- Allied patrols in action on Anzio beach- Reclamation and the Arid West- The Eagle Has Landed 1969I

t's so refreshing to see history conveyed with more clarity than a filmstrip can offer.

Ticking Time Away

The other day I realized why my friend Corey ticks the time off her calendar. I didn't understand why before. I always wondered what possible satisfaction she got out of marking the days off her calendar; now I know.

She was waiting for something better.
She was waiting for the day she could really do what she wanted to in life, not just what she was doing for the moment.

You see, I really liked my planning job. I would have never found satisfaction in ticking off the days on the calendar. Not even in my old department here at the U would I have either. I loved my last two jobs.

But now that is it a year later and I am in a job I can't wait to get out of, I am now find myself ticking down the days. Counting down until I can finally do what I was wired up to do. Which I am assuming I will figure out someday. I do know for a fact that it is not my current position. I do not get my masters degree and invest in being a student of leadership to fetch the mail and make coffee the rest of my life.

So until then, I will sit in the waiting room of "My Career" and tick off the days until my train arrives.

National Engineers Week

Googler insights into product and technology news and our culture.
Google, girls and engineering
2/23/2006 12:08:00 PM

Posted by Emily Nishi, Diversity Program Manager

Did you know that it's National Engineers Week in the U.S. -- and that February 23 is Introduce a Girl to Engineering Day? The week-long celebration aims to raise public awareness of the many contributions engineers have made to our quality of life, and intrigue young students with the many wonders and possibilities in an engineer's work.

Throughout this week, several Google offices, including New York, Kirkland and Mountain View, have been hosting a couple of hundred girls from local middle schools and high schools to come visit us for the day. The girls have the unique opportunity to shadow a Google engineer or two, go to interactive workshops, eat in our yummy cafes (the pizzas are a hit!) and get an insider's tour of the Google offices.

We hope these girls get a real-life sense of what it's like to work here, and more important, that we've piqued their interests and ultimately help steer them toward future careers in math, science and engineering. Let's hear it for the girls!

Grey's Anatomy

I love Grey's Anatomy; and it makes me cry every week. Last night, was no exception. In fact, I cried myself to sleep. It was the finale of a two parter and the theme was:

"If you knew you were going to die, how would you spend your last day?"

My first and only thought was that I would spend all day in bed with Scott, and just stay there until it happened. (of course assuming that I was going to pass peacefully from illness or what-not. You can't really control accidents or bombs in body cavities.)

(Please respond)

Terry Tate - Office Linebacker

When Reebok featured Terry Tate as the Office Linebacker, I didn't think much about it until I started working on my master's degree. Well last night in class a group project that was discussing change and how resistant we are to change did a skit and we watched the Terry Tate training video. It was awesome! So watch the video below, it is about 4 minutes. It will show you some "aggressive" tactics when it comes to incorporating change into the workplace.
(Click on the title above if streem doesn't work.)

Remember the late 80's Early 90's?

~ once again, thanks Jen!

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word SIKE
2. You watched the Pound Puppies.
3. You can sing the rap to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and can do the Carlton
4. Girls wore biker shorts under their skirts and felt stylishly sexy.
5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.
6. You owned those lil' Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.
7. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom
8. Two words: Hammer Pants
9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock"
10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars... and spokey-dokes or playing cards on your spokes for that incredible sound effect
11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales" (Woo ooh!)
12. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
14. You saw the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the big screen...and still know the turtles names.
15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
16. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.
17. You played the game "MASH"(Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House)
18. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.
19. L.A. Gear....need I say more?
20. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in Kindergarten.(She's Truly Outrageous.)
21. You remember reading Tales of a fourth grade nothing and all The Ramona books.
22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"
23. You wanted to be a Goonie.
24. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (some of us...head-to-toe)
25. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted.
26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
27. You took lunch boxes to school... and traded Garbage Pail kids in the schoolyard.
28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.
29. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence.
30. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts.
31. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.
32. You thought She-ra (Princess of Power!) and He-Man should hook up. (even though they were brother and sister)
33. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.
34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes.
35. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"
36. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"
37. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
38. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.
39. You have ever played with a Skip-It.
40. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.
41. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.
42. You remember Popples..
43. Don't worry, be happy
44. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks
45. You wore socks scrunched down (and sometimes still do...getting yelled at by younger hip members of the family)
46. You remember boom boxes and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that.
47. You remember watching both Gremlins movies.
48. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!!"
49. You remember watching Rainbow Bright and & My Little Pony Tales
50. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot.
51. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.
52. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool... and don't even flinch when people refer to them as "NKOTB"
53. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on Saved By The Bell," The ORIGINAL class. (I Love Zak Morris!)
54. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THROUGH THE HEART.
55. You just sang those words to yourself.
56. You remember watching Magic vs. Bird.
57. Homemade Levi shorts.. ! (the shorter the better)
58. You remember when mullets were cool!
59. You had a mullet!
60. You still sing "We are the World"
61. You tight rolled your jeans.
62. You owned a bannana clip.
63. You remember "Where's the Beef?"
64. You used to (and probably still do) say "What you talkin' about Willis?"
65. You had big hair and you knew how to use it.
66. You're still singing shot through the heart in your head, aren't you!
67. You wore more than two watches at once

Power Outage During Mammogram

~ Thanks Jen ~

I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with, "Hi! I'm Belinda!" This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, "All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?"

I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science".

Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

Call me crazy, but I suspect a man invented this machine. It takes a perfectly healthy cup size of 36-B to a size 38-LONG in less than 60 seconds. Also, girls aren't made of sugar and spice and everything nice....it's Spandex!We can be stretched, pulled and twisted over a cold 4-inch piece of square glass and still pop back into shape.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?"

Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?

My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob wedged between those two pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off!

"What?" I yelled.

"Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag" Belinda headed for the door.

"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone, are you?" I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy . the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back! ."

Before I could shout , "NOOOO!" she disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance "en extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass! After exchanging polite "Hi, how's it going?" type greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible. "Uh, yes, yes I did thanks."

"You bet, take care", Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said.

"Oh I am soooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps.

Forces: U.S. & Coalition/Casualties

My good friend Elaine is keeping track of our fallen soldiers on her blog. Yesterday I came across this article on CNN.com. Click on my blog title above to link directly to CNN. The article lists the breakdown of casualties as well as list the names and photos of American Soldiers.


There have been 2,438 coalition deaths, 2,238 Americans, one Australian, 98 Britons, 13 Bulgarians, two Danes, two Dutch, two Estonians, one Hungarian, 26 Italians, one Kazakh, one Latvian, 17 Poles, two Salvadoran, three Slovaks, 11 Spaniards, two Thai and 18 Ukrainians in the war in Iraq as of January 26, 2006, according to a CNN count. (Graphical breakdown of casualties).

The list below is the names of the soldiers, Marines, airmen, sailors and Coast Guardsmen whose deaths have been reported by their country's governments. At least 16,548 U.S. troops have been wounded in action, according to the Pentagon. View casualties in the war in Afghanistan and examine U.S. war casualties dating back to the Revolutionary War.

Winter Blond Joke

From my friend Steve.

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says..."Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Minnesota and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"

Closing Time

4:00 Friday and I have officially stopped working for the day.

Ahhhhhh.... the guilty pleasure of doing absolutely nothing the last hour of the day before I lock up at 4:45 and leave the office at 5:00 on the dot (Corey would be jealous).

My job last year did not allow such luxuries, so if you go back through archives, you will see that I wrote about once a week or less; I have a feeling that I will once again have a little more time during work hours to dripple across my blog and waste an entire afternoon pondering the things in life. Ahhhhhh.....

Not that my job doesn’t keep me busy, I do have things to do, but do not feel like doing them at this time. I guess I had to actually LEARN to be lazy at work. I am a good worker, a hard worker.

In my first ever job out of college when you gave me something to do I did it straight away. Then I got all my work done and had nothing left to do that day, or even the rest of the week. So... I had to learn to slow down and save things for later and become lazy.

In my second job I made the mistake of asking for extra duties and responsibilities to pass the time growing my job duties from 13 to 27 in a year. I will never do that again. Not only did my plate runnith over, do you think I got paid any more for doubling my duties?????

So, along comes job three, just as busy and really leaving no time to fluff off, not saying I never did, but it was rare.

And now back to job four. I am enjoying what I am doing. I know how to do it with little training and I am enjoying the pace I can get all my work done in the day. I do have to say that I really do think this is the first time all week I have just stopped working to enjoy the last hour of the day.

So welcome me back to the world of having the blessing to be able to relax a little at work. I will have to take advantage of it because hopefully in a few years I will be further along in my "career" (whatever that is) and one again I will be too busy to fluff off.

Happy Friday! CHEERS!

New Years 2006

Scott and I at our friend's JJ & Becky's house for New Years. 

Darth Wilhelm

"No Jon, I am not your father."

Why Marriage? by Mari Nichols

Because to the depths of me, I long to love one person,
With all my heart, my soul, my mind, my body...

Because I need a forever friend to trust with the intimacies of me,
Who won't hold them against me,
Who loves me when I'm unlikable,
Who sees the small child in me,
and Who looks for the divine potential of me...

Because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the night
With someone who thanks God for me,
With someone I feel blessed to hold...

Because marriage means opportunity
To grow in love in friendship...

Because marriage is a discipline
To be added to a list of achievements...

Because marriages do not fail, people fail
When they enter into marriage
Expecting another to make them whole...

Because, knowing this,
I promise myself to take full responsibility
For my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness

I create me,
I take half of the responsibility for my marriage
Together we create our marriage...

Because with this understanding
The possibilities are limitless.

** I read this at my sister's wedding **

New Job

Well.... it has been almost a year since I left the University and became a Social Event Planner for Genoa Woods Conference Center in Brighton, MI. As of December 30 I will be leaving Genoa Woods and going back to the University.

I have accepted a position with the Political Science Department as their Office Assistant. Not a glamorous job for someone about to finish their master's degree, but one that I am very good at. I am leaving Genoa Woods on very good terms and know that I will be part of their team again in a few years.

I have learned a lot about myself this year. What my talents and strengths are and how to value what I do in life over being miserable and well off. (I know, I know). So I will be poor and happy, until I can find something that will make me happy and rich!

Anywho... if you email me at Genoa Woods I won't be answering it after December 30. Please use my other personal email address. :o)

Jeni's Wedding

My sister got married this weekend! She is now Jeni Johnson! Click on the link above to see some pictures!

How Shannon Makes Christmas Cookies

Christmas Cookie Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.

At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup ... just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. ! Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

Buzz off!

Buzz off! ‘Mosquito’ aims to drive away teens Device’s inventor claims ultrasonic sounds audible only to young people

Reuters
Updated: 5:54 p.m. ET Nov. 30, 2005

LONDON - A Welsh inventor claims to have found the perfect solution to rowdy youngsters — noise.

Howard Stapleton says his device, the “Mosquito,” emits an uncomfortable high-pitched ultrasonic sound that can be heard by children and teenagers but almost no one over 30.
It has successfully driven away noisy teens from a grocery store in the Welsh town of Barry and a shop in Stapleton’s home town Merthyr Tydfil, making smoking, lounging and foul-mouthed youths a thing of the past.

The ability to hear high frequencies deteriorates with age, but some adults might still be able to hear the Mosquito. No one except young troublemakers appears annoyed, however.
“All I’m getting is pats on the back,” Stapleton told Reuters. “No bricks thrown at me yet.”
He said teenagers he had talked to welcomed the device too, because they used to be intimidated by gangs hanging around the shops.

The Mosquito has turned Stapleton into a media star, with appearances on British TV and radio and interest from as far afield as Australia, the United States and Canada.

URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10269421/

Bird Flu

The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately:

1. High fever
2. Congestion
3. Nausea
4. Fatigue
5. Aching in the joints
6. An irresistible urge to crap on someone's windshield .

Nothing new

Not much new in my life but a few new credit cards and a hang nail.

I am 99% finished with my Christmas shopping (Scott thinks I am crazy, and so will Pete). I just have to get Scott's sister and her husband something and I am all done, which I may do tonight, I am not sure. I can't tell you what a relief it is to be done Christmas shopping in October. I will never have to set foot in the mall all season!!!! I just have to remember now that I am done shopping and not to buy any more presents for anyone. I am really only guilty of doing this for my sister and Scott. Both whom I prob spend the most money on. One, cause I love Scott so much, and 2. cause my sister is so easy to shop for.

Mary at work quit. So I am Interim Social Event Coordinator, until they find a replacement. Seriously put a damper on my Halloween Party plans scheduled for the 22nd. Bastards, I told my friends I would be unable to participate if they moved it up a week. I have one more wedding left for the season on the 22nd. Should go nice and smooth. Then I have an auction and then on to holiday party season. Which should be interesting.

Scott had sinus surgery again yesterday. He is at home nursing some very nice black eyes and a swollen face. They removed a polyp, some scar tissue, and fully connected his drainage to his throat. No wonder he gets all stuffed up so fast. My assistant chef recommended Yoga to Scott to increasing his breathing through his nose to keep it clear.

My kitty Daisy keeps pooping outside her litter box on the floor. It is clean, cause she keeps pooping on the outside, so I have to figure out what is pissing her off so she will start using the box again. At least she isn’t pooping in my clothes or on my bed, she poops in the laundry room in corners I cannot reach. (little bitch)

I bought Buffy Season's 1-7. I should put them and my treadmill to good use and use them together. Makes the exercising go by much faster. Scott hasn’t noticed yet that I bought the entire collection. Once the drugs wear off, he may figure it out.

Girls like boys with skills

Digital Camera

I finally ordered a digital camera. I was afraid to buy one because I didn't want to loose the right to have hard copy pictures; but an incident this week taught me my lesson.

I finally took in film from last summer, yes, LAST summer (2004) to be developed. I had this film so long, I had even passed the "Develop by" date. I also learned why they have a "develop by" date. So I got pictures back from two weddings, a camping trip, a tailgating adventure, and photos of my cats broken leg. All of course taken with 800 speed film and they should have come out crystal clear. Did they? NO. I had passed the "develop by" date.

I also came to the conclusion that when I have my mom's digital camera I take pictures, download and order prints all right away. So... I bought a digital camera. A red Cannon PowerShot SD20 Digital Camera.

Ticketmaster Hell

I am now officially banned from purchasing any tickets to any events I wish to attend. Why? Cause every time I do, I mess something up.

First I went to a concert on the wrong day, then I bought 1 ticket on Ebay instead of 2 to a concert in Chicago, and now... I have bought tickets to something when I had a prior engagement. I suck. I should have learned before and just listened to Scott - who was right. Yes Scott, you were right dear, I should have listened to you. I swear on a stack of bibles that I will listen to you in all manners concerning purchasing tickets of any kind (concert, events, airplane, etc...) from this day on.

Today's Shameless Plug: Oktoberfest 2005, Friday September 30, 7-10 pm @ http://www.genoawoods.com/ By tickets from me!!! $35 Hot off the press! Get them NOW!

Seattle man dies after sex with horse

So.. um... watching Mind of Mencina last night and he came to his "Why the F#%& is this News" segment and discussed the following below.

attitude today: Felling like a liberal hippy douche

******************************************

Seattle man dies after sex with horse Police say death was accidental, investigate farm on cruelty suspicions
Reuters
Updated: 9:12 p.m. ET July 15, 2005

SEATTLE - A Seattle man died after engaging in anal sex with a horse at a farm suspected of being a gathering place for people seeking to have sex with livestock, police said Friday.The horse involved in the incident was not harmed, and an autopsy of the unnamed man concluded that “the manner of death was accidental ... due to perforation of the colon,” a police spokesman said.

“The information that we have is that people would find this place via chat rooms on the Web,” said Sgt. John Urquhart of the King County Sheriff’s Department.

Although sex with animals is not illegal in Washington state, Urquhart said that investigators were looking into whether the farm, located in Enumclaw, 40 miles southeast of Seattle, allowed sex with smaller animals that resulted in animal cruelty, which is a crime.

“If you’re talking about sheep or goats, there could be some issues,” Urquhart said.

***********************************************

Enumclaw-area animal-sex case investigated
By Jennifer SullivanSeattle Times staff reporter

King County sheriff's detectives are investigating the owners of an Enumclaw-area farm after a Seattle man died from injuries sustained while having sex with a horse boarded on the property.
Investigators first learned of the farm after the man died at Enumclaw Community Hospital July 2. The county Medical Examiner's Office ruled that the death was accidental and the result of having sex with a horse.

A surveillance camera picked up the license plate of the car that dropped the man off at the hospital, which led detectives to the farm and other people involved, said sheriff's Sgt. John Urquhart.

Deputies don't believe a crime occurred because bestiality is not illegal in Washington state and the horse was uninjured, said Urquhart.

But because investigators found chickens, goats and sheep on the property, they are looking into whether animal cruelty — which is a crime — was committed by having sex with these smaller, weaker animals, he said.

The farm was talked about in Internet chat rooms as a destination for people looking to have sex with livestock, he said.

"A significant number of people, we believe, have likely visited this farm," said Urquhart.
The Humane Society of the United States intends to use the case during the next state legislative session as an example of why sex with animals should be outlawed in Washington, said Bob Reder, a Humane Society regional director in Seattle.

"This and a few other cases that we have will allow us a platform to talk about sex abuse of animals," Reder said.

Thirty-three states ban sex with animals, he said.

Susan Michaels, co-founder of local animal-rights organization Pasado's Safe Haven, said she has been fighting to have bestiality made illegal. "It's animal cruelty behind closed doors," Michaels said.

**************************************************

Research @ Cambridge University

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

****************
from Jen P

One Year Anniversary

Wow! My blog will be up for one year on Friday. I can't believe I have been writing about my life and thoughts for a year now. We have been through lots this last year. A blogger stalker, my cat's broken leg, a new kitty, a new baby, a new job, and life in general. The year has been very good to me and I am looking forward to the next year.

Things to do in the next year:

• Launch my new position at Genoa Woods as the Special Event's Coordinator for Legendary Events.
• Finish my Master's Degree
• Lanuch a new part time career (possibly)
• Take a REAL vacation - traveling to Eurpoe (hopefully - if not Epcot at Disney World will have to do!)
• Become a Legendary party planner for Livingston County!

I'll save getting married for 2007 :o)

My new outfit

I am going to the Michigan Renaissance Festival and finally gave in and bought a costume. Mine is a black skirt and green vest. I get it on Wednesday!!!

Spam on my blog

Freeke'n A!!!

Spam on my blog!

"Reading your blog and I figured you'd be interested in advancing your life a bit, call us at 1-206-339-5106. No tests, books or exams, easiest way to get a Bachelors, Masters, MBA, Doctorate or Ph.D in almost any field.Totally confidential, open 24 hours a day.Hope to hear from you soon!"

WTF!




** Oktoberfest Beer Tasting - Friday Spetember 30th **

I love Scotch

"I love Scotch, Scotch, Scotch, Scotch."

Well not really, but I had to quote Ron Burgundy, San Diego Anchorman legend.

What Shannon would say is "I love rum, rum, rum, rum" then I can be stranded on an island with Johnny Depp and drink all the stolen Caribbean rum I want. Scott and I ended up going out with some friends last minute last night and had a WONDERFUL time! (Thanks Pete & Brian) We spent the night drinking, and picking out "tossers", "wankers", and sluts; and a wonderful time was had by all :o) Well maybe except for Erin who isn’t into girl watching as much as the rest of us are ;o) I also saw my first "Monet" last night (really pretty looking from far away, but when you get close things aren't really what they seemed). Which was depressing because I have admired this particular bartender from afar for a while now and to see her up close last night was slightly disappointing.

Oh well... Mark on your calendars: 1st Annual Oktoberfest Beer Tasting on September 24! $30 / person. Details to follow!

Memo to FAA

MEMO

TO: FAA
FROM: Conserned US Citizen

RE: Airport Security

Dear Sirs,

I have the solution for the prevention of hijackings, and at the same time getting our airline industry back on its feet.

Since men of the Muslim religion are not allowed to look at naked women we should replace all of our female flight attendants with strippers. Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing a naked woman, and of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again in hopes of seeing a naked woman. Hijackings would end and the airline industry would have record sales.

Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Sincerely,

Bill Clinton

********************************
Thanks Jen!

Subscribe to my Blog

You can now subscribe to my blog!

By entering your email in the box below you will receive automatic updates on when I post!

So now you don't have to stare at my blog everyday wishing I would write something new (unless you really want to that is).

SMM

- Thanks Larry!

Jayden Elizabeth

A close up of the little one. Now mind you she is only 2 hours old here!

I'm an Aunt!

Jayden Elizabeth Marshall
was born at 1:00 am on July 24, 2005
at McPhearson Hospital in Howell Michigan.

Everyone is doing great! It was a easy fast birth. Janessa went in at 11:00 and two hours later had a baby!

YEAH!

Captains Log 072005

Lots of things going on in the world today. Many of which I really don't have an opinion over, my friend John Thorpe however does, so check out his blog this week. He has had some good posts this last month. Check out the sheep and the Letter from London to the Terrorists. http://johnthorpe.blogspot.com/

I was one of the 6.9 million people in the USA to purchase Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince this weekend. Actually, I pre-ordered mine in December and avoided all the lines unlike my Aunt who is actually bragging about what number in line she was to get her book at midnight. Sorry Denise, I did the smart thing and PRE-ORDERED mine and it was hand delivered right to my door on Saturday. No lines, no screaming kids, just me and Harry all weekend long. I have not finished yet. I am pacing myself cause who knows when the next one will come out. The Goblet of Fire comes out in November. It should be an awesome movie! http://harrypotter.warnerbros.com/gobletoffire/index.html

Scotty from Star Trek died today from pneumonia and he also had Alzheimer's disease. Very said. http://entertainment.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=196936

I think that is it. Nothing to write home about, just a bunch of little tid-bits in life.

Have a fabulous day!

ooohhhh yeah.... bow bow... chick-chick-chicka... mmmm...bow bow... chick-chick-chicka...  

oooh-ka-la-ka-he-key... comonna-wanna-lay-ya.... 

Jeni at Pub Crawl... I talked her into wearing a coconut bra :o) 

New Job

Well I have been at Genoa Woods for six months and I already have a new job. I have been "promoted" to Special Events Coordinator. I have been officially deemed "the party girl" and now I am getting paid for it. My main objective is to organize public events for Genoa Woods, market them, and fill the seats. My first event will be a New Year's Eve party with all the trimmings. Hopefully I may be able to squeeze in a beer tasting event in October for Oktoberfest, but who knows. Right after New Year's I will be in full swing for our annual Valentines Day Dinner and then on to other events. Hopefully I will be able to make a living at this cause right now it looks like I might lose salary in December. If I can't I think I will start hosting "Slumber Parties" and sell adult novelties and enhancements. My girlfriend does it and makes a KILLING!

Anywho...

Scott and I have been in our condo for one year now! We moved in 4th of July last year. I can't believe it has been a year already! I guess it is time to start thinking about home improvements now that we have broken it in.

The cat's are doing fine. Duke is still licking himself bald and scratching up places. The lime dip treatment seems to be helping, but maybe he has a OCD or something and needs some kitty Prozac or something. Daisy is getting bigger every day and is finally starting to find her personality.

I think that is about it. Nothing wise or witty to say I am afraid. Have a great day everyone!

Blah

I don't know what to say these days. Things have been busy and boring. School, work, weddings, being broke (won't be for long though). Same ol' shit different day.

I did have a few enlightening thoughts the other day I thought I may spend some time reflecting on. One was when I ran into a friend of mine a few years ago, someone I use to be involved with a youth group/bible study with and he looked up and me and asked me "Do you miss him?". It is a pretty emotional topic I think, which is maybe why I haven't written about it cause it would take some strength out of me. I think I will in a few days though. The other was one of philosophical basis. What if I don't reproduce? And by choosing not to reproduce, have I now altered history in some way? What if my child is of some significance to the world and the world doesn't change because I chose not to have children?

I know... deep thoughts....

anywho... just thought I would post a little something today since I know Jerri and Pete stare at my blog everyday waiting for things to change.

Duke and Daisy are doing good. DAISY IS GETTING SOOOO BIG!!!! and her eyes are now green. Oh and we started Duke on a Sulfur-Lime dip treatment for his aliments. Seems to be working.

Scotty Doesn't Know

** This song is from the movie Eurotrip - rent it! It is halarious!!!! So halarious I bought the movie AND the soundtrack **

Scotty doesn't know,
That Fionna and me,
Do it in my van every Sunday.
She tells him shes in church,
But she doesn't go,
Still shes on her knees,
and...Scotty doens't know,
oh.Scotty doesn't know-oh.
So don't tell Scotty!
Scotty doesn't know,Scotty doesn't know.
SO DON'T TELL SCOTTY!

Fionna says shes out shopping,
But shes under me and I'm not stopping.
Cuz Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know.
So don't tell Scotty.
Scotty doesn't knoooooow....
DON'T TELL SCOTTY!

I can't believe he's so trusting,
While I'm right behind you thrusting.
Fionna's got him on the phone,
and she's trying not to moan.
It's a three way call,and he knows nothing.
NOTHING!!!
Scotty doesn't know,Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,Don't tell Scotty.
Cuz Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't knoooooow....
SO DON'T TELL SCOTTY!
We'll put on a show, everyone will go.
Scotty doesn't know,Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't knoooooow....

The, parking lot, why not?
It's so cool when you're on top.
His front lawn, in the snow.
Laughing so hard, cuz...
Scotty doesn't know,Scotty doesn't know.

I did her on his birthday.

Scotty doesn't know,Scotty doesn't know,Scotty doesn't know,Scotty doesn't know,Don't tell Scotty.Scotty doesn't knoooooow....

Scotty will know,Scotty has to know,Scotty's gotta know,Gonna tell Scotty,Gonna tell him myself. Scotty has to know,Scotty has to know,Scotty has to,Scotty has to,Scotty has to go!Scotty doesn't know,(Don't tell Scotty)Scotty doesn't know,(Don't tell Scotty)Scotty doesn't know...Scotty's gotta go!

49ers

Looks like the 49ers are in some big trouble for having a sence of humor. People in San Francisco obviously do not watch South Park or Chapelle's show or else they wouldn't be so upset.

** Aparently newspapers don't like it when you link right to the story.
GOOGLE: "49ers tape" and check out the stories from the Contra Costa Times and the Kansas City newspaper. **

Pub Crawl 2005 

Jeni's 21st Birthday

Getting ready to go out on the town for Jeni's 21st birthday.
We rented a limo to take us around town. Jeni rode a mechanical bull at Kickers in Pontiac; then we went to 5th Ave. in Novi; and ended the evening at Lu and Rubys in Milford with a 1:30 visit to Taco Bell in a limo!

Alex, Melissa, Jeni, and Jessi

Bobby, Rachel, Jeni, Jason, and Jess caught on film spanking Jeni. 

Scott doing his brotherly duty and making Jeni take an unknown shot.

Taco Bell in the Limo

Online Photo Album

Check out my online photo album at http://shennan.bebo.com

Hope everyone has a great holiday weekend!

Shannon

So I know I am a dork, cause I am on this huge Star Wars kick currently.

I just wanted to say that I will never see Darth Vader as evil again. To me he will forever be a Jedi lost in the dark.

We have been watching Episode IV the last few days and I totally see Darth Vader in an entirely new light. Yes he does kill Obwaon, but his dialog makes total sense now. He appears to me to still be a Jedi at heart; just a Jedi that has been seduced by the darkside. And since the Sith Lord and his power is all he has in life, he now has to pay the consequences of his actions and be Darth Vader instead of Anakin Skywalker.

Episode III

We went to the midnight showing of Star Wars last night.

IT
WAS
AWESOME!!!!!!

but.... it broke my heart; and I cried the last 30 minutes of the movie.

I know Aniken turns, we all know that, but it still broke my heart. The scenes between him and Padamine were so awesome, you could see it in his eyes how much he loved her. I am still getting misty just thinking out it this morning.

I won't go any further until the rest of you see it; or until you tell me it is OK if I keep telling you about it.

May the force be with you....

So I have spent the last week staring at my friend's blogs waiting for any sign of change, and it dawned on my today that maybe they do the same thing to my blog. Go to it every day waiting to find out what stupid thing I have done next. So here I am posting...

Nothing much is going on at the moment. I did my first wedding last weekend here at Genoa Woods and we have another one this weekend. These two weddings will be a nice break in for wedding season. I have had a million calls for weddings for next year so far, but only one has booked and two have serious holds on them. So I did a calendar of all the weekends that I have to fill in 2006; 5 down, 47 to go...

Since it is wedding season I have been on a mini kick regarding my own. Since I don’t think I will ever be able to afford my Rock-Star Wedding, I think I have to come to reasoning with the honeymoon escape and come back and celebrate with an intimate dinner with the family. Still a $5,000 dinner, even with 80 people! Curses to tax and gratuity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also started up my fat blog again (no signs of anyone mean). Just me writing about my weight loss. I did find a cool web site: http://www.3fatchicks.com that seems to have 1,000's of members just like myself - all sorts of women struggling with their weight, having craving issues, and lack of motivation. I dig it. If you are like me and want to loose some weight sign up there and then let me know and we can all support each other through our own thread somewhere - maybe we will be "The Rock-Chicks"!!!!

STAR WARS!!! Comes out tonight at midnight!!! Scott and I will be going to see it Thursday night after work, cause he thinks we are to old to see it at midnight - wanker....

Well I think that is it. We are doing Relay for Life this weekend, a wedding, shower, etc... so we will be pretty busy, and my two grad classes start on Monday!!!

WOO HOO!!!

Nap Time

Hmmmm.... someone likes to feel secure when they nap!

Afternoon Delight

Aruba, Jamaica ooo I wanna take you to
Bermuda, Bahama come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego, baby why don’t we go
Jamaica...

Off the Florida Keys
There’s a place called Kokomo
That’s where you wanna go to get away from it all (do do do do do do do do)
Bodies in the sand
Tropical drink melting in your hand
We’ll be falling in love
To the rhythm of a steel drum band...
Down in Kokomo

Afternoon delight
Cocktails and moonlit nights
That dreamy look in your eye
Give me a tropical contact high
Way down in Kokomo

Aruba, Jamaica ooo I wanna take you to
Bermuda, Bahama come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego baby why don’t we go

Down to kokomo
We'll get their faster and we'll take it slow
That's where we wanna go...
Way down to Kokomo


(click title-Afternoon Delight)

Name Debate

Fiona (Shannon's Pick)
or Daisy (Scott's Pick)

Fiona's Stats

Fiona is 4 weeks old and weighs 0.15 lbs.

Duke - Our 2 yr old

This is Duke. He is 2 years old.

Two-Weeks Notice

I just noticed that it has been almost two weeks since my last post.
(then I realised that a post I did last week was actually saved instead of posted - so check out "Shannon-a work in progress" below)

Not much to write about these last few days I guess. I think I have chosen a name for my kitty... well actually my sister did, which means I can kiss my own name goodbye... We have decided on "Princess Fiona" for the new kitty. I will post a picture as soon as I can. Duke, of course, is still an allergic mess. We are trying food therapy now and if this doesnt work, I may just have to give the Cat Allergist my first born to find out what is wrong with him.

My buddy Pete turned the big 3-0 this last week. We all had a blast hanging out at our favorite local establishment. It was a suprise party! As much as he didn't want to turn 30, he sure enjoyed all the attention we lavished upon him ;o)

Scott turns 31 this year, I am thinking about throwing him a suprise party since he didn't let me throw him one last year.

Jeni turns 21 May 28. We are looking into renting a limo for the evening to take us around to the local bars and maybe Pontiac. If you are interested in going, let me know :o)

Ben's Blog has had some interesting post's on it latley.
Chack it out! http://bentrb4.blogspot.com/

That is all I can really update on. Class is going well. Only like 3 more weeks I think! Then I will start summer classes (hopefully more financial aid). I have also been reading "The idiots Guide to Weight-loss". Not a total waste of money. Has some interesting ideas in it that I had not read before.

Shannon Marshall – a work in progress

The Executive Director that I work for thought it would be fun for each of us to come up with a personal mission statement. It was suppose to reflect on our personality and how that translates into the workplace. Well, I waited till the last minute; GOOGLED "personal mission statement" and found a pretty cool link at www.franklincovey.com that assists you with building a personal missions statement. After 20 minutes of reflection, here is what I came up with:

I will…
- be a reliable source of energy. In the home and in the workplace.
- always remember that my core values come from my mother.
- strive to be a steady person who takes time to look at all the details before moving on.
- be a dependable employee, sister, and friend to all who need my assistance.
- try to remember that the world does not revolve around Shannon.
- continue to express my individuality and celebrate my liberty.
- be a good and true companion to myself and others.
- continue to bring enthusiasm to work and home and support the ideas that are formed
around me.
- strive to always uphold my composure in all situations.
- remember it is ok to rely on the strengths of others and that it is ok
- always approach a client and my co-workers with sincerity and enthusiasm

I will be a reliable and steady source of enthusiasm and sincerity to those around me. I will celebrate the individuality of my team and be a dependable companion that they can rely on. I will remember to own my decisions and position and that it is ok to lean on the strengths of my fellow teammates.

I am a dependable companion that provides a strong, reliable, steady force backed with enthusiasm and sincerity.

Manicure + Sex = Heaven

I have found my new version of Heaven.

Getting a manicure while watching "Sex in the City"!

I could have died right there and been content with my life. I couldn't believe the joy I was experiencing! Getting my nails done and watching the best women centered show of all time in a nail salon where the same women gather every two weeks to talk about their lives and share some personal "paper-me" time together. I felt a certain type of euphoria surround me as we watched Season 1 - Bay of the Married Pigs.

Then my happiness was sucked out of me, when one of the nail techs came up and TURNED IT OFF! My manicurist saw the look of shock and sadness on my face as I sat wide-eyed in disbelief! WHY GOD WHHHHHYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why were they turning it off!!! Why where they ruining my one hour of happiness that I experience every two weeks! WHY!!!!!

As my nail tech read my mind and was experiencing the same horror at the same time, he leaned over and said "There are kids here now."

WHAT!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!! WHO THE HELL BROUGHT THEIR KIDS INTO NAIL SALON!!! This is OUR time! Our time to get away from kids and husbands and boyfriends! Our time to be pampered, enjoy good conversation, and this weekend we were being blessed with episodes of "Sex in the City"! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I turned to the right to look where my nail tech was pointing, and in the corner were two pre-teens (about 9 and 11 I thought) watching the TV wide eyed at the naked Butt that had just been there for about 45 seconds.

I sat there defeated in my chair, wising people weren't so uptight about what their kids saw on television. I mean I saw "Porkey's" when I was 4!

So now I sit there watching Comedy Central, which happens to be playing "Mo-Money" and I cant decide which is worse? Frank conversations about sex, or violence, drugs, and people stealing money? Then the mother sat next to me and I about died! Total trailer trash! Long bleached out blond she-mullet hair, tattoos all up and down her arms, and she was getting a full set! An hour commitment! And me just in for a fill... Oh Holy Lord! This is the woman that sucked away my happiness! I wanted to claw her eyes out with my freshly filled nails!!!

40 minutes later, I am sitting at the UV table drying my nails and she leaves! HALAHULA!!!! and my nail tech quickly puts back on "Sex in the City" so that we may finish watching our episode. The remaining women in the salon all relax and sit back to enjoy our version of Heaven.

Name my new Kitty

... for real this time

I went to the Vet's last night and picked out a new kitty to take home in 4 weeks. A stray was found and gave birth to a litter, and I have been conned into taking a new kitty home - they tried to get me to take two! but I said one was enough!

She is a grey striped female. And I am looking for a name for her. She will be living with my other cat Duke - a black and white male. I of course think Duchess would be cute, but Scott isn't soo keen on it....

So I open the floors!
Name my kitty!

Jeni's Blog

My sister has a blog now. Sheck it out.

It is cute!

I still like Blogger better though :o)

Gay's -vs- GOD

In the last few weeks many of us have been tested on our faith and our choices over life and death. In the home, at work, and with friends over email and blogs.

As we all use our Blogs to express personal feelings and thoughts, and we know other people from across the world read these passages and comment on our thoughts, it has come to my experience that not everyone may like what you write. This is fine. I now take it with a grain of salt as well as my other friends.

This being said, a lovley comment has spured quite the debate on my best friend Larry's blog. A debate including GOD, Jesus, the Bible, life and death, Heaven and Hell, and what being gay has to do with it all (or not). The following is my response on Larry's website to the topic at hand.

Pease visit "The Bliss Report": http://larrybliss.blogspot.com/2005/03/i-guess-i-am-burning-in-hell.html

Feel free to comment. Here is mine:

"Oh my... maybe Fritz and my Portugal friend should get together.

Two things I want to comment on about the Bible is:
1. It was written by MEN
2. It has been translated so many times, who knows what has been misinterpreted OR DELETED for their own benefit in controlling the masses here on Earth.

I believe in GOD, and I consider myself a Christian. I think when good 'ol Constantine established the Catholic church it was to CONTROL the people into living what HE INTREPERTED as a Godly way to live. Now we have Catholics that declare "I'm not Christian - I'm Catholic" Honey if you believe in GOD and that Jesus Christ is your savior, then I am sorry to say that makes you Christian.

Anywho.. I have digressed... I believe in GOD, and I consider myself a Christian. I believe that Jesus is the son of GOD, and that he is Jewish (he was celebrating Passover when he was betrayed); I believe in Heaven and Hell; and I believe that when we all die we are to face how we lived out our lives here on Earth. If we lived a good life where we loved our neighbor, and tried to be the best person we could to ourselves, our family and others, then I will get into Heaven. If I did not live a good life and have no remorse for the pain I caused myself, my family, and my neighbors, then I belong in Hell.

Now... if you have read Revelations in the Bible - it promises that only 12,000 people from each of the 12 tribes of Israel will be spared when "the world ends". How I interpret that is - only the Jews will be saved, not the nit picking Christians who can't read between the lines and interpret the Bible and it's life's lesson stories without someone telling them how to.

We are all here on this planet either from some intergalactic - "Stargate" miracle, or some divine entity actually thought it would be fun to play the "Sims" on a much larger level. We are to love our neighbors and ourselves and live good lives. We are not here to criticize other human beings for the way they live there lives. I believe the Bible also suggests to "Love the sinner, not the sin". Being gay can either be a choice or how you are wired. And if GOD has created us all, then he must have created Gay people for a reason. Maybe to teach us tight assed WASP Christians tolerance, and that there are larger things in life to worry about than wither or not others are going to Hell when they die for chosing to love someone of the same sex."

Terri Schiavo

http://johnthorpe.blogspot.com/2005/03/terri-schiavo-wtf-is-wrong-with-people.html

I usually don't get caught up in touchy things such as this, but this is my blog, and my opinion. John found an interesting blog on Terri. And here is my opinion:

"Good point, even I have reservations about letting her starve and dehydrate to death, BUT if her parents would have let her die naturally 15 years ago, she would have passed away under better circumstances. But, because they were unable to honor HER wishes that her and her HUSBAND had agreed too, I hold them responsible for their daughter starving to death.

I also believe that if I have the right to put my dog or cat down, I should have the right to put my parents or myself down as well. Especially if they are dieing of a slow and painful death to begin with. That is what is in-humane. Making people suffer when they are dieing, when suffering is CLEARLY the last thing any of us want to do."

Rock Star Wedding

So I had a new wedding brain child the other day. I thought...

"wouldn't it be cool to have a rock-star wedding? like the MTV music awards or something!"

I could roll out the red carpet, have velvet rope, and "fans" screaming taking pictures and asking for autographs as my guest walk in.

THEN! also along the "red carpet" my good friends from Rock-Chicks could interview my guest like they were movie and rock stars and my friend Jason could produce it!

Then we could have passed champagne, fancy passed hors d' oeuvres, regular hors d' oeuvres, and a premium bar.

THEN! I could transform the ballroom of the banquet facility I work at into a nightclub!!! With dancing, disco balls, DJ's spinning, and light shows!

Then I looked at the total of what it would cost and determined that I would have to leave my current boyfriend and marry a REAL rock star....

Soon to be Aunt

Well my brother has gone and done it... he is reproducing...

I am very happy for my little brother (24) and his girlfriend. They found out yesterday that they are having a girl!

My dad's mother is VERY excited! My Dad is number 4 of 4 boys, and then my grandma finally had a girl on the 5th try. Then her boys all had boys, well... there are 7 grandsons and 3 grand daughters. So now that she has great-grandchildren, it seems that the girls are making a comeback. The Marshall family will welcome 3 new great-grandchildren this summer ALL GIRLS! So that now totals 4 great-granddaughters, and 1 great-grandson! Go Girls!

My brother also moved into his first apartment with his girlfriend last week. They are still in need of a few things, so I am taking him shopping tonight :o) I can't believe my little Jonny is almost married and having kids!!!! He of course will always be my little brother, even when we are old and grey.

Quote of the day:

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

Thanks to Jerri :o)

Greatest Songs to rip your cloths off too

As compiled by my good friends at RockChicks.org.

Check it out! http://rockchicks.blogspot.com/2005/02/guitar-players-do-it-with-their-hands.html#comments

Please ignore the idiot behind the curtin who suggested that Van Halen's Jump drum beat makes you want to rip your cloths off....

Featured Blog: John Thorpe - Imagine No Liberals

John Thorpe is the "youngest, gumpy old man alive" and I am not just quoting his blog, I can say this as a fact. John has always had great political opinions and is someone I respect.

Thank GOD for Blogs, cause now he can rant and rave all he wants without anyone giving a flying fuck. I reciently introduced my friend John Zemke to John Thope, maybe they will become Blog sparing partners and go head on in some issues.

Electronically Updated

So I am electronically updated.

I have ordered a new Dell Palm aix30 (arriving Monday)
I have a pink iPod mini on the way (arriving Wednesday)
I have ordered cable internet and will go wireless in my home (arriving Wednesday)
and I am now driving a new Honda CRV :o)

I would like to thank Uncle Sam for assisting me in all my lifestlye updates, without him, non of this would be possible.

New car

I bought my new car today. It is a 2000 White Honda CR-V. A very cute and nice small SUV. I figured it was time for an upgrade, since I seem to be unable to keep my little Neon in one piece. I will post a picture soon, or email out, as soon as I can download them from my mom's camera.

My new job is going great! I am being kept busy with phone calls and appointments with potential brides. Tonight I go to Emerald Events in Farmington Hills for an Open House. Should be very swanky and fun! AND I GET TO DRIVE MY NEW CAR! It has been snowing all day, so I will have to be careful...

Anywho... sorry for not posting all the time. I have been busy with my new job, class and the jaycees. I will be getting internet at home soon, so I will be able to post more often now. Nothing whitty or exciting to say... except that Cadbury Eggs are out and I have fallen off the Food Wagon...

OH! My birthday was this last Friday. There was a three day celebration with all of my family and friends. Pete got me a GREAT birthday cake for our little gathering last Friday and we had fun playing poker and singing karokee! Then Sunday we broke out the DDR with the family. My brother got an "A" on his first song, his first time every playing! I was slightly scared...
I got lots of clothes from my mom.. all of which are too big! (Yeah! and Boo...) So they will have to go back or find a new home...

I think that is about it for now. I am looking for a new kitty, a kitten, so if anyone knows of one that needs a new home, please let me know.

SMM

Need trouble? Look no more!

So I guess my cousin is correct when he says that trouble finds me, and that is runs in the family.

I have yet again totaled out my car. This time 100% my fault, though I would still like to blame a semi-truck for my accident Wednesday morning on the way to work.

So I am getting on the highway. It is icey and slushy out, so I am not going over 35 or 40 mph. But along comes a semi-truck roaring past me as I am about to merge, at the same exact time I believe I hit an icy patch which causes my back end to fish-tail slightly. Now this is a driving hazard that we all face, but at this particular moment it freaks me out because I am sliding around in my lane with a semi-truck in the next lane. Sooo... What does Shannon do? Applies break pressure (or slams on the breaks, I don't know) and now I am spinning out of control heading toward a ditch, a tree, and the end of a guard rail (ya know the square part that is reinforced because of stupid drivers like me). So I am now praying and bracing for impact hoping that I miss the guard rail and just fly into the ditch, but that is not my luck on this fine morning. I end up slamming right into the end of the guard rail on my driver side door. This nice little two-step pinches me into my driver seat with the door in my lap, a shattered window, and a shattered front window which I think is going to cave in on me at any moment. I think the only thing that saved me a little was the steering wheel. Anywho...

I call 911 and say I don't think I need an ambulance, and 15 minutes later a passer-byer stops (never mind the three cars that actually witnessed my accident) and calls an ambulance because I am to squished in. Anywho... When the medical team arrives and some cute firefighters they help me out of the car and into the ambulance. Scott arrives and oversees the tow truck try to get my car off of the barrier and tow it away. We then head off to the ER.

Everything is fine, I was able to walk away with just severe bruising and sore muscles. And now the possibility of a new car.

What a great thing to happen on your 3rd day of work!

Well things are going well here at my new job. I have had meetings and taste-testing all week and a few tours. I also never have to bring lunch ever again :o)

Whew....

Hmm... been two weeks since my last post. I have been busy working here at U-M getting ready for my move to "the real world". I have been doing a ton of overtime, which I am actually going to be paid for (YEAH); busy with school, Jaycees, and new job already. whew...

Anywho... Things are going well. I am excited to start my new job, but sad to leave my old job. Who knows, maybe in a year I will realise the new job isn't really for me and I will be back here at the U-M. But I hope not...

I am training a temp tp do my work until they hire a full time secretary. She is really good I think she will do real well.

Don't really have too much fun and exciting to say. No inspiring bits of wisdom or antics.

Oh .. I did just reciently get my Pay Pal identity stolen and had $1100 dollars transfered out of my bank account into cyber space! I have my money back already and will be closing out my bank account and getting a new one.

And I have been reading the "Shopaholic" books, I LOVE THEM!!!

Later :o)