Manicure + Sex = Heaven

I have found my new version of Heaven.

Getting a manicure while watching "Sex in the City"!

I could have died right there and been content with my life. I couldn't believe the joy I was experiencing! Getting my nails done and watching the best women centered show of all time in a nail salon where the same women gather every two weeks to talk about their lives and share some personal "paper-me" time together. I felt a certain type of euphoria surround me as we watched Season 1 - Bay of the Married Pigs.

Then my happiness was sucked out of me, when one of the nail techs came up and TURNED IT OFF! My manicurist saw the look of shock and sadness on my face as I sat wide-eyed in disbelief! WHY GOD WHHHHHYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why were they turning it off!!! Why where they ruining my one hour of happiness that I experience every two weeks! WHY!!!!!

As my nail tech read my mind and was experiencing the same horror at the same time, he leaned over and said "There are kids here now."

WHAT!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!! WHO THE HELL BROUGHT THEIR KIDS INTO NAIL SALON!!! This is OUR time! Our time to get away from kids and husbands and boyfriends! Our time to be pampered, enjoy good conversation, and this weekend we were being blessed with episodes of "Sex in the City"! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I turned to the right to look where my nail tech was pointing, and in the corner were two pre-teens (about 9 and 11 I thought) watching the TV wide eyed at the naked Butt that had just been there for about 45 seconds.

I sat there defeated in my chair, wising people weren't so uptight about what their kids saw on television. I mean I saw "Porkey's" when I was 4!

So now I sit there watching Comedy Central, which happens to be playing "Mo-Money" and I cant decide which is worse? Frank conversations about sex, or violence, drugs, and people stealing money? Then the mother sat next to me and I about died! Total trailer trash! Long bleached out blond she-mullet hair, tattoos all up and down her arms, and she was getting a full set! An hour commitment! And me just in for a fill... Oh Holy Lord! This is the woman that sucked away my happiness! I wanted to claw her eyes out with my freshly filled nails!!!

40 minutes later, I am sitting at the UV table drying my nails and she leaves! HALAHULA!!!! and my nail tech quickly puts back on "Sex in the City" so that we may finish watching our episode. The remaining women in the salon all relax and sit back to enjoy our version of Heaven.