Darth Wilhelm

"No Jon, I am not your father."

Why Marriage? by Mari Nichols

Because to the depths of me, I long to love one person,
With all my heart, my soul, my mind, my body...

Because I need a forever friend to trust with the intimacies of me,
Who won't hold them against me,
Who loves me when I'm unlikable,
Who sees the small child in me,
and Who looks for the divine potential of me...

Because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the night
With someone who thanks God for me,
With someone I feel blessed to hold...

Because marriage means opportunity
To grow in love in friendship...

Because marriage is a discipline
To be added to a list of achievements...

Because marriages do not fail, people fail
When they enter into marriage
Expecting another to make them whole...

Because, knowing this,
I promise myself to take full responsibility
For my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness

I create me,
I take half of the responsibility for my marriage
Together we create our marriage...

Because with this understanding
The possibilities are limitless.

** I read this at my sister's wedding **

New Job

Well.... it has been almost a year since I left the University and became a Social Event Planner for Genoa Woods Conference Center in Brighton, MI. As of December 30 I will be leaving Genoa Woods and going back to the University.

I have accepted a position with the Political Science Department as their Office Assistant. Not a glamorous job for someone about to finish their master's degree, but one that I am very good at. I am leaving Genoa Woods on very good terms and know that I will be part of their team again in a few years.

I have learned a lot about myself this year. What my talents and strengths are and how to value what I do in life over being miserable and well off. (I know, I know). So I will be poor and happy, until I can find something that will make me happy and rich!

Anywho... if you email me at Genoa Woods I won't be answering it after December 30. Please use my other personal email address. :o)

Jeni's Wedding

My sister got married this weekend! She is now Jeni Johnson! Click on the link above to see some pictures!

How Shannon Makes Christmas Cookies

Christmas Cookie Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.

At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup ... just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. ! Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

Buzz off!

Buzz off! ‘Mosquito’ aims to drive away teens Device’s inventor claims ultrasonic sounds audible only to young people

Reuters
Updated: 5:54 p.m. ET Nov. 30, 2005

LONDON - A Welsh inventor claims to have found the perfect solution to rowdy youngsters — noise.

Howard Stapleton says his device, the “Mosquito,” emits an uncomfortable high-pitched ultrasonic sound that can be heard by children and teenagers but almost no one over 30.
It has successfully driven away noisy teens from a grocery store in the Welsh town of Barry and a shop in Stapleton’s home town Merthyr Tydfil, making smoking, lounging and foul-mouthed youths a thing of the past.

The ability to hear high frequencies deteriorates with age, but some adults might still be able to hear the Mosquito. No one except young troublemakers appears annoyed, however.
“All I’m getting is pats on the back,” Stapleton told Reuters. “No bricks thrown at me yet.”
He said teenagers he had talked to welcomed the device too, because they used to be intimidated by gangs hanging around the shops.

The Mosquito has turned Stapleton into a media star, with appearances on British TV and radio and interest from as far afield as Australia, the United States and Canada.

URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10269421/

Bird Flu

The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately:

1. High fever
2. Congestion
3. Nausea
4. Fatigue
5. Aching in the joints
6. An irresistible urge to crap on someone's windshield .

Nothing new

Not much new in my life but a few new credit cards and a hang nail.

I am 99% finished with my Christmas shopping (Scott thinks I am crazy, and so will Pete). I just have to get Scott's sister and her husband something and I am all done, which I may do tonight, I am not sure. I can't tell you what a relief it is to be done Christmas shopping in October. I will never have to set foot in the mall all season!!!! I just have to remember now that I am done shopping and not to buy any more presents for anyone. I am really only guilty of doing this for my sister and Scott. Both whom I prob spend the most money on. One, cause I love Scott so much, and 2. cause my sister is so easy to shop for.

Mary at work quit. So I am Interim Social Event Coordinator, until they find a replacement. Seriously put a damper on my Halloween Party plans scheduled for the 22nd. Bastards, I told my friends I would be unable to participate if they moved it up a week. I have one more wedding left for the season on the 22nd. Should go nice and smooth. Then I have an auction and then on to holiday party season. Which should be interesting.

Scott had sinus surgery again yesterday. He is at home nursing some very nice black eyes and a swollen face. They removed a polyp, some scar tissue, and fully connected his drainage to his throat. No wonder he gets all stuffed up so fast. My assistant chef recommended Yoga to Scott to increasing his breathing through his nose to keep it clear.

My kitty Daisy keeps pooping outside her litter box on the floor. It is clean, cause she keeps pooping on the outside, so I have to figure out what is pissing her off so she will start using the box again. At least she isn’t pooping in my clothes or on my bed, she poops in the laundry room in corners I cannot reach. (little bitch)

I bought Buffy Season's 1-7. I should put them and my treadmill to good use and use them together. Makes the exercising go by much faster. Scott hasn’t noticed yet that I bought the entire collection. Once the drugs wear off, he may figure it out.

Girls like boys with skills

Digital Camera

I finally ordered a digital camera. I was afraid to buy one because I didn't want to loose the right to have hard copy pictures; but an incident this week taught me my lesson.

I finally took in film from last summer, yes, LAST summer (2004) to be developed. I had this film so long, I had even passed the "Develop by" date. I also learned why they have a "develop by" date. So I got pictures back from two weddings, a camping trip, a tailgating adventure, and photos of my cats broken leg. All of course taken with 800 speed film and they should have come out crystal clear. Did they? NO. I had passed the "develop by" date.

I also came to the conclusion that when I have my mom's digital camera I take pictures, download and order prints all right away. So... I bought a digital camera. A red Cannon PowerShot SD20 Digital Camera.

Ticketmaster Hell

I am now officially banned from purchasing any tickets to any events I wish to attend. Why? Cause every time I do, I mess something up.

First I went to a concert on the wrong day, then I bought 1 ticket on Ebay instead of 2 to a concert in Chicago, and now... I have bought tickets to something when I had a prior engagement. I suck. I should have learned before and just listened to Scott - who was right. Yes Scott, you were right dear, I should have listened to you. I swear on a stack of bibles that I will listen to you in all manners concerning purchasing tickets of any kind (concert, events, airplane, etc...) from this day on.

Today's Shameless Plug: Oktoberfest 2005, Friday September 30, 7-10 pm @ http://www.genoawoods.com/ By tickets from me!!! $35 Hot off the press! Get them NOW!

Seattle man dies after sex with horse

So.. um... watching Mind of Mencina last night and he came to his "Why the F#%& is this News" segment and discussed the following below.

attitude today: Felling like a liberal hippy douche

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Seattle man dies after sex with horse Police say death was accidental, investigate farm on cruelty suspicions
Reuters
Updated: 9:12 p.m. ET July 15, 2005

SEATTLE - A Seattle man died after engaging in anal sex with a horse at a farm suspected of being a gathering place for people seeking to have sex with livestock, police said Friday.The horse involved in the incident was not harmed, and an autopsy of the unnamed man concluded that “the manner of death was accidental ... due to perforation of the colon,” a police spokesman said.

“The information that we have is that people would find this place via chat rooms on the Web,” said Sgt. John Urquhart of the King County Sheriff’s Department.

Although sex with animals is not illegal in Washington state, Urquhart said that investigators were looking into whether the farm, located in Enumclaw, 40 miles southeast of Seattle, allowed sex with smaller animals that resulted in animal cruelty, which is a crime.

“If you’re talking about sheep or goats, there could be some issues,” Urquhart said.

***********************************************

Enumclaw-area animal-sex case investigated
By Jennifer SullivanSeattle Times staff reporter

King County sheriff's detectives are investigating the owners of an Enumclaw-area farm after a Seattle man died from injuries sustained while having sex with a horse boarded on the property.
Investigators first learned of the farm after the man died at Enumclaw Community Hospital July 2. The county Medical Examiner's Office ruled that the death was accidental and the result of having sex with a horse.

A surveillance camera picked up the license plate of the car that dropped the man off at the hospital, which led detectives to the farm and other people involved, said sheriff's Sgt. John Urquhart.

Deputies don't believe a crime occurred because bestiality is not illegal in Washington state and the horse was uninjured, said Urquhart.

But because investigators found chickens, goats and sheep on the property, they are looking into whether animal cruelty — which is a crime — was committed by having sex with these smaller, weaker animals, he said.

The farm was talked about in Internet chat rooms as a destination for people looking to have sex with livestock, he said.

"A significant number of people, we believe, have likely visited this farm," said Urquhart.
The Humane Society of the United States intends to use the case during the next state legislative session as an example of why sex with animals should be outlawed in Washington, said Bob Reder, a Humane Society regional director in Seattle.

"This and a few other cases that we have will allow us a platform to talk about sex abuse of animals," Reder said.

Thirty-three states ban sex with animals, he said.

Susan Michaels, co-founder of local animal-rights organization Pasado's Safe Haven, said she has been fighting to have bestiality made illegal. "It's animal cruelty behind closed doors," Michaels said.

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Research @ Cambridge University

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

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from Jen P

One Year Anniversary

Wow! My blog will be up for one year on Friday. I can't believe I have been writing about my life and thoughts for a year now. We have been through lots this last year. A blogger stalker, my cat's broken leg, a new kitty, a new baby, a new job, and life in general. The year has been very good to me and I am looking forward to the next year.

Things to do in the next year:

• Launch my new position at Genoa Woods as the Special Event's Coordinator for Legendary Events.
• Finish my Master's Degree
• Lanuch a new part time career (possibly)
• Take a REAL vacation - traveling to Eurpoe (hopefully - if not Epcot at Disney World will have to do!)
• Become a Legendary party planner for Livingston County!

I'll save getting married for 2007 :o)

My new outfit

I am going to the Michigan Renaissance Festival and finally gave in and bought a costume. Mine is a black skirt and green vest. I get it on Wednesday!!!

Spam on my blog

Freeke'n A!!!

Spam on my blog!

"Reading your blog and I figured you'd be interested in advancing your life a bit, call us at 1-206-339-5106. No tests, books or exams, easiest way to get a Bachelors, Masters, MBA, Doctorate or Ph.D in almost any field.Totally confidential, open 24 hours a day.Hope to hear from you soon!"

WTF!




** Oktoberfest Beer Tasting - Friday Spetember 30th **

I love Scotch

"I love Scotch, Scotch, Scotch, Scotch."

Well not really, but I had to quote Ron Burgundy, San Diego Anchorman legend.

What Shannon would say is "I love rum, rum, rum, rum" then I can be stranded on an island with Johnny Depp and drink all the stolen Caribbean rum I want. Scott and I ended up going out with some friends last minute last night and had a WONDERFUL time! (Thanks Pete & Brian) We spent the night drinking, and picking out "tossers", "wankers", and sluts; and a wonderful time was had by all :o) Well maybe except for Erin who isn’t into girl watching as much as the rest of us are ;o) I also saw my first "Monet" last night (really pretty looking from far away, but when you get close things aren't really what they seemed). Which was depressing because I have admired this particular bartender from afar for a while now and to see her up close last night was slightly disappointing.

Oh well... Mark on your calendars: 1st Annual Oktoberfest Beer Tasting on September 24! $30 / person. Details to follow!

Memo to FAA

MEMO

TO: FAA
FROM: Conserned US Citizen

RE: Airport Security

Dear Sirs,

I have the solution for the prevention of hijackings, and at the same time getting our airline industry back on its feet.

Since men of the Muslim religion are not allowed to look at naked women we should replace all of our female flight attendants with strippers. Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing a naked woman, and of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again in hopes of seeing a naked woman. Hijackings would end and the airline industry would have record sales.

Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Sincerely,

Bill Clinton

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Thanks Jen!

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So now you don't have to stare at my blog everyday wishing I would write something new (unless you really want to that is).

SMM

- Thanks Larry!

Jayden Elizabeth

A close up of the little one. Now mind you she is only 2 hours old here!

I'm an Aunt!

Jayden Elizabeth Marshall
was born at 1:00 am on July 24, 2005
at McPhearson Hospital in Howell Michigan.

Everyone is doing great! It was a easy fast birth. Janessa went in at 11:00 and two hours later had a baby!

YEAH!