My Celebrity Sisters

Your Celebrity Sisters Are Mary-Kate and Ashley

Funky, eccentric, and offbeat You're not a good girl or a bad girl, just a weird girl

Who Are Your Celebrity Sisters?

Summer, Summer, Summer time.....

I just sit back and unwind....

Ahhhh..... I have officially freed my toes!!! They are painted hot pink and are not giong back into a pair of closed toed shoes until October!

Answer:

Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
....................................................................
Republican's Answer:

BANG!
.....................................................................
Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....
(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?

Son: Can I shoot the next one!

Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, a terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises his God, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

Family Ties

My brother, his fiancee, and baby packed up and moved away this weekend.

They are heading west to Sequim / Port Angeles, Washington. Janessa's mother lives out there, which is why they moved. Jon made a promise early on in their relationship to move west after college so she can be close to her mother.

We are all very said, but know that we will visit often. Actually, I wouldn't mind moving to Washington myself. I know if one more of us goes that my parents and whom ever is left will follow. :o)

Dear Cats & Dogs:

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.

The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. Iam very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessaryto claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also,I have been using the bathroom for years .... canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's behind. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I haveposted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture (that's why they call it "fur"niture).
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people and sometimes even siblings when they tick me off the right way.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids becausethey:
1. Eat less.
2. Don't ask for money all the time.
3. Are easier to train.
4. Usually come when called.
5. Never drive your car.
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends.
7. Don't smoke or drink again...my dogs don't smoke but the drinking...well....
8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest
9. Don't wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college,
11. If they get pregnant you can sell their children!

04/05/06

I just wanted to point out that Wednesday was April 5, 2006 - or 04/05/06; I guess in military that is 05/04/06; but whatever.

My point being is I LOVE DATES LIKE THIS! Any date that falls in some sort of numeric order excites me. It only happens once in a lifetime!

Like 09/06/96, 01/01/01, 01/02/03, seriously, these things only happen once in a lifetime!

I hope you all paused to observe 04/05/06.

Next event: 06/06/06 (hehehe 666)