Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Today's Forecast
Today's forecast calls for 20% chance of baby with high swelling in the ankle region and high irritability. Staying inside, kept cool, and well fed should decrease your chances of irritability.
Tomorrow's chance of baby increases as we move into the weekend as this front will not last till the next full moon.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Military Oaths Of Enlistment
Oaths Of Enlistment
All persons, upon entering Military Service and upon reenlistment, are required to take the Oath of Enlistment. At one time, the Oath of Enlistment was the same for all services. Due to changes in both society and the differing Military Branches, the Oath has undergone marked change and has been specifically tailored to each branch of the Military and their specific function. Here are the latest versions of the Oath of Enlistment as recently released by the Joint Chiefs of Staff:
US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES AIR FORCE because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army, because the Marines frighten me, and because I am afraid of water over waist-deep. I swear to sit behind a desk. I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our bike-riding test as a valid form of exercise. I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name because I find it amusing to annoy the other services.
I will have a better quality of life than those around me and will, at all times, be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of "Basic Training", I will be a lean, mean, donut-eating, Lazy-Boy sitting, civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, chair-borne Ranger. I will believe I am superior to all others and will make an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the back. I will annoy those around me, and will go home early every day. So Help Me God!"
____________________ Signature
____________________ Date
US ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, Rambo, swear to sign away 4 years of my mediocre life to the UNITED STATES ARMY because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force, I'm not tough enough for the Marines, and the Navy won't take me because I can't swim. I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my trousers into my boots because I can't figure out how to use blousing straps. I promise to wear my uniform 24 hours a day even when I have a date.
I will continue to tell myself that I am a fierce killing machine because my Drill Sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the only action I will see is a court-martial for sexual harassment. I acknowledge the fact that I will make E-8 in my first year of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on my PT test.
After completion of my Sexual.....er.....I mean "Basic Training," I will attend a different Army school every other month and return knowing less than I did when I left. On my first trip home after Boot Camp, I will walk around like I am cool and propose to my 9th grade sweetheart. I will make my wife stay home because if I let her out she might leave me for a better-looking Air Force guy. Should she leave me twelve times, I will continue to take her back. While at work I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely nothing accomplished. I will arrive to work every day at 1000 hrs because of morning PT and leave everyday at 1300 to report back to "COMPANY."
I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me get a job upon separation, and will end up working construction with my friends from high school. I will brag to everyone about the Army giving me $30,000 for college, but will be unable to use it because I can't pass a placement exam. So Help Me God!"
_____________________ Signature
_____________________ Date
US NAVY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES NAVY, because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too "corporate," because I didn't want to actually live in dirt like the Army, and because I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...why not?"
I promise to wear clothes that went out of style in 1976 and to have my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor Man during summer, and for Nazi Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English-speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, geedunk, scuttlebutt, scuttle and head," when I really mean "floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole in wall and toilet."
I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank, and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930. I vow to hone my coffee cup-handling skills to the point that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my newfound "colleagues." So Help Me Neptune!"
______________________ Signature
______________________ Date
US MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, (pick a name the police won't recognize), swear..uhhhh....high-and-tight.... grunt... cammies....kill....fix bayonets....charge....slash....dig....burn....blow up....ugh...Air Force women....beer.....sailors wives.....air strikes....yes SIR!....whiskey....liberty call....salute....Ooorah Gunny....grenades...women....OORAH! So Help Me Chesty PULLER!"
Thumb Print X____________________ XX __________________
Teeth Marks ____________
Date __________________
All persons, upon entering Military Service and upon reenlistment, are required to take the Oath of Enlistment. At one time, the Oath of Enlistment was the same for all services. Due to changes in both society and the differing Military Branches, the Oath has undergone marked change and has been specifically tailored to each branch of the Military and their specific function. Here are the latest versions of the Oath of Enlistment as recently released by the Joint Chiefs of Staff:
US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES AIR FORCE because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army, because the Marines frighten me, and because I am afraid of water over waist-deep. I swear to sit behind a desk. I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our bike-riding test as a valid form of exercise. I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name because I find it amusing to annoy the other services.
I will have a better quality of life than those around me and will, at all times, be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of "Basic Training", I will be a lean, mean, donut-eating, Lazy-Boy sitting, civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, chair-borne Ranger. I will believe I am superior to all others and will make an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the back. I will annoy those around me, and will go home early every day. So Help Me God!"
____________________ Signature
____________________ Date
US ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, Rambo, swear to sign away 4 years of my mediocre life to the UNITED STATES ARMY because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force, I'm not tough enough for the Marines, and the Navy won't take me because I can't swim. I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my trousers into my boots because I can't figure out how to use blousing straps. I promise to wear my uniform 24 hours a day even when I have a date.
I will continue to tell myself that I am a fierce killing machine because my Drill Sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the only action I will see is a court-martial for sexual harassment. I acknowledge the fact that I will make E-8 in my first year of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on my PT test.
After completion of my Sexual.....er.....I mean "Basic Training," I will attend a different Army school every other month and return knowing less than I did when I left. On my first trip home after Boot Camp, I will walk around like I am cool and propose to my 9th grade sweetheart. I will make my wife stay home because if I let her out she might leave me for a better-looking Air Force guy. Should she leave me twelve times, I will continue to take her back. While at work I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely nothing accomplished. I will arrive to work every day at 1000 hrs because of morning PT and leave everyday at 1300 to report back to "COMPANY."
I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me get a job upon separation, and will end up working construction with my friends from high school. I will brag to everyone about the Army giving me $30,000 for college, but will be unable to use it because I can't pass a placement exam. So Help Me God!"
_____________________ Signature
_____________________ Date
US NAVY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES NAVY, because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too "corporate," because I didn't want to actually live in dirt like the Army, and because I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...why not?"
I promise to wear clothes that went out of style in 1976 and to have my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor Man during summer, and for Nazi Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English-speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, geedunk, scuttlebutt, scuttle and head," when I really mean "floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole in wall and toilet."
I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank, and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930. I vow to hone my coffee cup-handling skills to the point that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my newfound "colleagues." So Help Me Neptune!"
______________________ Signature
______________________ Date
US MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, (pick a name the police won't recognize), swear..uhhhh....high-and-tight.... grunt... cammies....kill....fix bayonets....charge....slash....dig....burn....blow up....ugh...Air Force women....beer.....sailors wives.....air strikes....yes SIR!....whiskey....liberty call....salute....Ooorah Gunny....grenades...women....OORAH! So Help Me Chesty PULLER!"
Thumb Print X____________________ XX __________________
Teeth Marks ____________
Date __________________
Monday, May 22, 2006
Jeni Ready to Pop!
Jeni is about ready to pop! She is in final stage of "re-nesting" and Christopher has dropped. She has started to experience some contractions, though she has only diliated to a one (1).
She has a Dr's appointment tomorrow and we will know a little more. We should all have a new baby by the end of the week!
(Picture taken this weekend: May 20, 2006)
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
My email is breaking up with me
Hi.
This is the qmail-send program at yahoo.com. I'm afraid I wasn't able to deliver your message to the following addresses.
This is a permanent error; I've given up.
Sorry it didn't work out.
This is the qmail-send program at yahoo.com. I'm afraid I wasn't able to deliver your message to the following addresses.
This is a permanent error; I've given up.
Sorry it didn't work out.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Back In Town
Florida was awesome! 75-85, Sunny, Clear skys (with a little haze from the fires) and a slight breeze. I could not have ordered better weather. I have a few pictures on my myspace. Check them out.
The reunion was fun. I met classmates I didn't know, hung out and caught up with people I knew and loved. It was still clicky though. Made my rounds and said Hi to the "popular" people, and tried to have a good time.
My girlfriend Jennifer asked me to be her maid of honor in her wedding in October, so I will be heading back down sometime later this year. This time I am taking Scott and we are going to Disney. I didn't think I would miss him this last weekend, but by Saturday night I missed him terribly and wished I had drug him down with me.
So yesterday I spent the afternoon looking up prices for Disney. For the low price of $650 I can have a room at the French Quarter, airport transportation, park hopper passes for three days that never expire, and a few other cool things. Pricing does not include meals, entertainment, and drinks. Whew... better start saving my money / paying off credit cards.
The reunion was fun. I met classmates I didn't know, hung out and caught up with people I knew and loved. It was still clicky though. Made my rounds and said Hi to the "popular" people, and tried to have a good time.
My girlfriend Jennifer asked me to be her maid of honor in her wedding in October, so I will be heading back down sometime later this year. This time I am taking Scott and we are going to Disney. I didn't think I would miss him this last weekend, but by Saturday night I missed him terribly and wished I had drug him down with me.
So yesterday I spent the afternoon looking up prices for Disney. For the low price of $650 I can have a room at the French Quarter, airport transportation, park hopper passes for three days that never expire, and a few other cool things. Pricing does not include meals, entertainment, and drinks. Whew... better start saving my money / paying off credit cards.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Florida
I leave tomorrow at 6:20 am for a weekend in Florida. It is my HS 10 year reunion! I will post pictures when I return!
Friday, May 05, 2006
Sexual Dictionary
Shannon -- [adjective]: Fetish oriented 'How will you be defined in the sexual dictionary?' at QuizUniverse.com |
Scott -- [noun]: A new position involving a machete 'How will you be defined in the sexual dictionary?' at QuizUniverse.com |
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Prayer for Lost Books
For him that steals, or borrows and returns not, a book from his owner, let it change into a serpent in his hand and rend him. Let him be struck with palsy, and all his members blasted. Let him languish in pain crying aloud for mercy, and let there be no surcease to his agony till he sing in dissolution. Let book worms gnaw at his entrails in token of the Worm that dieth not. And when at last he goes to his final punishment, let the flames of Hell consume him for ever.
- From the monastery library of San Pedro in Barcelona.
- From the monastery library of San Pedro in Barcelona.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Summer Hours
Ahhhh.... I now have summer hours... I will be working 8-4:30 M-F.
Only get 30 min lunch though which will put a cramp on my walking. But if I actually bring my lunch and eat / snack in the morning, I will be able to walk at lunch.
My JC friends and I are doing a summer weight loss challenge, so hopefully I will loose 15-30 pounds by August 1! Well that is my goal!
Only get 30 min lunch though which will put a cramp on my walking. But if I actually bring my lunch and eat / snack in the morning, I will be able to walk at lunch.
My JC friends and I are doing a summer weight loss challenge, so hopefully I will loose 15-30 pounds by August 1! Well that is my goal!
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